The reason for the bilateral mastectomy was that if my lymph nodes were cancer free I would be done. No chemotherapy, no radiation, I could proceed directly to go collect $200 and head right into reconstruction. I jumped for joy when my doctor told me my lymph nodes were free of the cancer. Then he said, the "H" word, however, your tumor was 5.5 centimeters, which is huge and size trumps everything in the cancer treatment world. He told me I would need chemotherapy and radiation after all. What! Call me stunned, the Engineer must have been too, he didn't say anything.
"Size trumps everything," was the response I heard with every objection and option I presented. I fought it,denied it, wouldn't talk about it. Then I read about the side effects of chemo, I cried, then visited denial again and crying some more.
I was sick of hearing "that" phrase. All the doctors used it. I finally succumbed to their reasoning and counsel falling deeper into a Pity Party.
For about a week and a half, life was all about me and my poor pitiful self. I'd lost my breasts and was headed for chemo and radiation, why me? I deserved to feel sorry for myself and everyone told me that was a part of the process and I was justified.
I ran into a friend who told me she had cancer. It was in her stomach, liver, lungs, pancreas, and headed for the vena cava. Then she said the doctors had given her a year to live. In a split second I had an attitude adjustment. She started telling me all the things she was going to miss in life while my heart grew heavy with her pain. I was so grateful that I only had to have chemo and loose my breasts, I was one of the lucky ones!
I wanted to do something to ease her pain and being a quilter you know where my thoughts went. That night I decided to make a quilt to comfort her. After finding out her favorite colors I was shopping within 3 days. I already had a pattern in mind and had the top pieced four days after I bought the fabric.
Here it is on the guest bed/ "design bed" without the borders.
I wanted the quilt to be way comfy and warm so I put minky on the back. I was my first time using minky and it was easier than I thought. The Engineer gave it a test run the evening I finished it and he gave it a thumbs up declaring, "it works."
My friend isn't going to have any treatment other than medication to keep her as comfortable as possible. She wants to enjoy and be alert for the life she has left. She loves the quilt and uses it all the time, even in the hospital when she has to go.
Since the day she told me about her cancer I've had a good attitude about mine. I pray for her and her family, she's strong. I admire her and her daughter who I'm sure have shed their share of tears. The quilt brings her lots of comfort and it was therapeutic for me to be able to make it for her.
One doesn't have to look very far in life to find others who are worse off than our selves, no matter how bad a situation we are in. Life is good and quilting makes it better!
Look out chemo, here I come!
