NO MORE CHEMO!

Monday the 24th was my last day of chemotherapy! Shout Hooray with me!
I've lost my eyebrows, the lashes are going, I'm sad. After I read several cancer blogs and realized it could take almost 2 years for the brows to come back in, I was even more sad. The Engineer told me to shop for someone who does good work because he's taking me to get permanent eyebrows and eyeliner!! What a guy! He batted it out of the park with that one! My energy is low, the doctors say it will be about 90 days before I'm feeling all my juice again, I can wait. A few have asked...Yes, I'm starting reconstruction in January of 2015.

I'm wanting to build followers on my facebook page and to celebrate my chemotherapy being over, I'm giving away 3 pink fat quarters! Pink because it's breast cancers color.

Sign in with the Raffle Copter link below, enter your information, then like and follow my facebook page to win the fat quarters!  (If you already have LIKED my page you can still enter to win) To win extra entries leave the first name of someone who has been touched by cancer in  the comments below this post. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Quilt Raffle!!!

This morning when arrived for my treatment I was greeted by this beautiful raffle quilt in hanging in the lobby. The funds go the patient assistance fund. The lighting isn't the best, but I inspected it closely and it's well made and quilted. If I haven't mentioned yet, I'm a Batik Freak! I bought 15 tickets and would love to have this quilt in my quilt stash! Send your winning thoughts my way and I'll accept every one!

Thank you Barbara Henderson, I don't know you but I but I suspect your life has been touched by cancer. 

I snapped some pictures so I could share the quilt and a lady who was waiting for her appointment simply said, "Quilter?" To which I said, "yes!"
I found a new friend :) She was finished with a year and a half of three different rounds of chemo and was in for a 6 month check up.  Again, I realized how lucky I am to only have experienced my small cancer story compared to hers.  I didn't get her name but when when she told me that she had just started quilting to have something to do while she was recovering our kindred spirits melded together. The conversation got exciting as we spoke in our new common language. I told her about my store and blog, she took my card. I didn't get her name, but I know she'll look and read this blog one day. I wish her a long happy cancer free life!

She has a beautiful head of hair, I'm excited for that day to come for me. My eyebrows are just  about gone and I have a little bit of down like white stuff on my head. Plus the eyelashes are starting to thin. My mom was upset to see my new look. I'm hoping it doesn't upset you, this me me with out a wig and make up.

Chemo Versus Quilting

Chemotherapy temporarily is pulling ahead of my quilting. But I see light at the end of the tunnel and it's not going to win! I should have posted long ago but just haven't felt like it. My son said to me, "Mom, you have to realize that you can't go 150 mph any more. You will just have to be satisfied at 80 mph."

I've been having treatments since November, they haven't been the easiest task I've taken on. Though I've lost a ton of energy and desire to be active I've actually had an easy time with the treatments. The nurses and doctors say it's because of my good attitude. I've heard from so many of you about your trials and am continually thankful for mine.

Again, I'm always amazed on how much of my energy has been zapped. For instance it took over two weeks to get the Christmas tree up and when I decided it was done 2/3s of the ornaments were still in the box, It was December 21st and I was satisfied. (That is SO not me!) With out chemo I would have had the tree up and the house decorated the day after Thanksgiving.

I think about quilting, mostly its when I walk past the quilting room and wish I felt better. My thoughts are full of projects I imagine getting done but the reality is they are just thoughts. However two of those thoughts have turned into projects and one is finished. I started this quilt before I was diagnosed so all I had to do was finish it. I attached the binding and worked the quilting threads in. The best part, I had a finished quilt I could give to my friends baby. I rolled it up in a polka dot ribbon, how cute! She and her family loved the baby quilt.

For those who've been to my website you will notice it's made with the classic black n white charms. Really, it's the 2 inch strips left from when I cut the charms, I just couldn't throw them out. I added a 2.5 inch strip of pink ombre to make each strip of three a square then did the lay out in a split rail pattern.
And yes, it's the quilt top I'm sewing in my picture on the blog. I told you it was a UFO.

I know there's a ton of you out there who purchased my Classic Black n White Charms in January. I have pink, aqua and green ombre in stock along with the coordinating polka dot ombre if you wanted to copy this quilt. Simply click on the "chick" to go shopping on my website.

Side Effects and Christmas

So I've started chemotherapy and it's not a real positive experience. In preparation I bought two really cute wigs because the doc said I would definitely loose my hair and it fell out by the third week. These days when you go through chemo treatments you get loaded up with steroids, anti nausea medicine and even more anti nausea medicine so you really aren't supposed to get sick. I don't get nausea, but have experienced just about everything else.

The steroids are a trip and cause me to burn on my face and hands, like a bad sunburn or a hot flash that stays for several hours. I sleep with ice packs on my face and keep lots of moisturizer on my face and hands. On the third round I experienced burns and blisters on the palms of my hands and fingers. No, quilting for this girl, I couldn't use my hands for three days. The engineer put on my shoes and tied them for me. What a great support he's been through this journey.

I'm get a treatment every three weeks and the worst side effect is that I'm so tired I don't have the energy to do much of all, including quilting!Getting ready for the holidays has proven to be a chore. This Christmas season will be very different and quite for us. I have a treatment schedule for December 23rd. Merry Christmas!

Size Trumps Everything or Welcome My Pity Party

The reason for the bilateral mastectomy was that if my lymph nodes were cancer free I would be done. No chemotherapy,  no radiation, I could proceed directly to go collect $200 and head right into reconstruction. I jumped for joy when my doctor told me my lymph nodes were free of the cancer. Then he said, the "H" word, however, your tumor was 5.5 centimeters, which is huge and size trumps everything in the cancer treatment world. He told me I would need chemotherapy and radiation after all. What! Call me stunned, the Engineer must have been too, he didn't say anything.

"Size trumps everything," was the response I heard with every objection and option I presented. I fought it,denied it, wouldn't talk about it. Then I read about the side effects of chemo, I cried, then visited denial again and crying some more. 

I was sick of hearing "that" phrase. All the doctors used it. I finally succumbed to their reasoning and counsel falling deeper into a Pity Party.

For about a week and a half, life was all about me and my poor pitiful self. I'd lost my breasts and was headed for chemo and radiation, why me? I deserved to feel sorry for myself and everyone told me that was a part of the process and I was justified. 

I ran into a friend who told me she had cancer. It was in her stomach, liver, lungs, pancreas, and headed for the vena cava. Then she said the doctors had given her a year to live. In a split second I had an attitude adjustment. She started telling me all the things she was going to miss in life while my heart grew heavy with her pain. I was so grateful that I only had to have chemo and loose my breasts, I was one of the lucky ones!

I wanted to do something to ease her pain and being a quilter you know where my thoughts went. That night I decided to make a quilt to comfort her. After finding out her favorite colors I was shopping within 3 days. I already had a pattern in mind and had the top pieced four days after I bought the fabric.

Here it is on the guest bed/ "design bed" without the borders. 

I'm including a close up of the border so you can see the main fabric that inspired the quilt. This picture was taken after the quilt was finished. I quilted it in a meandering pattern with flowers and hearts.

I wanted the quilt to be way comfy and warm so I put minky on the back. I was my first time using minky and it was easier than I thought. The Engineer gave it a test run the evening I finished it and he gave it a thumbs up declaring, "it works."

My friend isn't going to have any treatment other than medication to keep her as comfortable as possible. She wants to enjoy and be alert for the life she has left. She loves the quilt and uses it all the time, even in the hospital when she has to go.


Since the day she told me about her cancer I've had a good attitude about mine. I pray for her and her family, she's strong. I admire her and her daughter who I'm sure have shed their share of tears. The quilt brings her lots of comfort and it was therapeutic for me to be able to make it for her.
One doesn't have to look very far in life to find others who are worse off than our selves, no matter how bad a situation we are in. Life is good and quilting makes it better!
Look out chemo, here I come!

Post Surgery

I wrote this post back in September and haven't had the courage to publish it. I received an email from Lyn who told me her story. She reminded me of the power of sharing and that one sentence can make a difference for someone else who is suffering.
To Lynn: Thank you for sharing your story. My heart hurts for others who have trials like yours and those who suffer silently. Here it is...


They're gone, I'm sporting an ace wrap that you could wrap a house in and then there are the drains. I'm sure many of you have experienced the post surgery drains; they are the worst and it will be a happy day when I get them removed. I empty, measure and chart the contents 3 times a day.

I actually ended up having 2 surgeries as one side developed a hematoma and 2 days after my initial surgery the only way to relieve this was another surgery. The second one kicked my butt and I was pretty much a wasteoid. I didn't start to feel like a human again until a full week after the second surgery, not quite a full human but getting there. I wanted to wash my hair.

The hardest thing after the surgery was taking a shower. The engineer took off the ace wrap and helped me hang the drains on a ribbon around my neck then I saw myself in the mirror for the first time. I gasped then cried. I quickly turned away, it was devastating. I looked again through tears which brought more tears. He held me from the back and rubbed my back lightly while telling me how much he loved me. I sucked it up and took my shower while thinking  life could only get better from this point. It felt glorious to wash my hair.

As you can imagine I'm not doing any quilting but thinking about it a lot which makes me happy!

Cancer Is Consuming, Quilting is the Best Distraction

     I don't want to be a downer but when you have a cancer diagnoses it is all consuming. The engineer and I held the news in because we thought we didn't want to talk about it. Looking back I think we were still in shock at the news and there were so many unanswered questions.
     The only thing that made me forget about my cancer was quilting, and I did. I'd helped two young teens in the past with a fun pattern called "Disappearing Nine Patch" which turned out so cute. I wanted to do one for myself. I had four Timeless Treasures Tonga Treats Charm Packs, two of Coffee Cake and two of Champagne in my stash for some time and decided to use those. I loved the light and dark values of the Treats.

The Champagne treats are values of creams...hang on you'll see them in the next few pictures. 

     While I don't have a picture of the actual nine patch from my quilt here's one I found on the web. It helps you to see the concept.

     Being in my sewing room brings me peace and the time flies so quickly. Before I knew it I had my four charm packs sewn into nine patch's, next step cut them down the center horizontally and perpendicular then I squared them up keeping them in batches of four of the same block. I had no instructions, just thought I was supposed to do it this way. 

     Layout! I love laying out a quilt and since I don't have a layout wall I use the guest bed. I tried several designs over two days, giving me plenty of time to look and think then look again. On the second morning I decided to scrap the idea of keeping the four same blocks together and arranged them by color and value, Eureka! This was it! I sewed it together in rows and got this. 

Both the Engineer and I like the gradient look with the darks being in one corner and the lights in another. What do you think?  I used all the darkest blocks for the center of the nine patch, which is the patch that gets cut into 4 small blocks. You are also seeing the border for the first time. I got this batik backing and border piece for 50% off! What girl doesn't love a sale?!?! I had some champagne squares left over and put one in each corner of the border. I was so excited to get this one done and still hadn't had surgery yet, bilateral mastectomy, so I quickly scheduled some long arm time. I used a sort of detailed pantograph and King Tut variegated thread called Caravan. This picture is a close up of the quilting plus you can see some of the Champagne Tonga Treats a little better. (look for the rectangles)

Surgery is coming up, it's schedule for September 9th. Not sure how I'll feel for a while. Glad I have some quilts to snuggle up in.